so sick.

...so sick...

I went completely off of morphine 10 days ago. I was switched to Vicodin to then slowly wean off of narcotics as not to put my body under too much stress. My OB/GYN Dr. said it could be as harmful, if not more so, to have the stress of withdrawals happen to my body as it does to take a higher amount of narcotics. He discussed this with my GP and my GP then decided to give me 2-3 a day. I got sick, really sick.

Anxiety, agitation, insomnia, sick to my stomach, headache, weak, not to mention exhaustion and morning sickness from being pregnant. The past 12 days have been straight out of hell. I don't ever want to go on morphine again, no matter how much pain I am in. It isn't worth this.

I have been going through withdrawals for 12 days now. Last night was the first night that I slept for more than 3 hours but the battle before bed was the worst so far. I, at times, felt like I was going to have a seizure because of the way my body was having chills and creepy crawling feeling that caused my whole body to tighten up and my muscles to be explosive and twitch. It was more than twitch, my arms would punch up towards the ceiling and then my wrists would tweak. I have a much better understanding for those that deal with drug problems. No wonder they have such out of control body spasms. My heart breaks for those that have to go through it.

I spent almost 90 minutes crying out loud to God, rocking myself, and having Kendal rub my back, it was miserable.

My Mom has been here to take care of me and the boys and I am so thankful. Being sick in the middle of the night, all night, is so incredibly miserable.

I am now 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant and I am hoping this ends soon so we can just start to be excited for the baby and not put all of our energy into being sick.

Would appreciate prayer that the side effects would diminish rapidly and that sleep would soon come back to me.