3 Days Later

Today is November 4th, she will be a whole 3 days old at 4:27 p.m. today.  I can already feel myself wanting it to all slow down.  I tried to seal pictures in my mind as we made each transition while in the hospital.  I can see the delivery room at check-in and feel the huge anticipation and I was scared.  I scanned the room as they rolled me out of the delivery room with baby girl in my arms.  I tried to take it all in and tell myself that it will be okay that I never, myself, be here.  I see the nurses face and the room on the Mother Baby Care floor ( I really dislike the first 12 hours in there).  And again, I look over the room as we are packed up and carry our bundle out the door.  It's the end of our baby birthing days...and it's good.

Last night as we were safely tucked in our home, just the 3 of us, I was overwhelmed with joy.  Yes, Joy!  That thing I hadn't felt in so so long.  I had peace for the fact that our family is complete with the 7 of us.  That tension and heartache that has been lingering for over 3 years is healed and we can move forward.  I'm sure there are a lot of hormones and lack of sleep and just the simple fact that I am so in love with this new babe that play into these feelings, but I truly believe this new thinking is from the Lord and He has moved me on.

I look forward to this new stage.  We focus on what is happening today and tomorrow.  I don't have to spend my day with heartache that I can't pin down.  New, fresh life is starting, not just for Esther, for her Mommy too.