Eighth Treatment

Last week was very discouraging with my Vax-D treatments.  Thursday's appointment hurt so badly that every pull tough to deal with.  I didn't want to talk to anyone about it or put up any more posts on facebook because I couldn't face the realization that it may not work.  It was a week of emotions and feelings that were mostly negative with small clusters of hope sprinkled in.

We are to do 10 treatments and then evaluate how well it is working and make the decision to proceed with the next 8.  If there is no improvement it isn't as likely to work if we continue.  It's a nice chunk of money as well and that is a tough decision to make when you are using the families money, yet again, for yourself.

Friday morning on the way to Corvallis for my 8th treatment I spoke to God about my desire to be healed.  I've done this for years and years as you can imagine.  I have been anointed with oil and prayed over by the elders of my church for healing.  I have pleaded to Jesus for relief.  I have wanted to go home to Heaven and leave this body because I just couldn't take the constant pain.

With discouragement in my heart from the week of disappointments I asked again.  I asked God for complete healing from my pain.  That these treatments would complete the journey of my pain.  I also said that if His plan for me was to remain the same, my heart would resolve and be healed from the disappointments and always searching for the next treatment.  That I would just be "okay" with it.

I mentioned (again) to the Dr. that I have so much pain in that SI joint and I wondered how much of that pain is causing other pains in my body.  Specifically nerve pain and spasms in my hip and sciatic nerve.  He said it's all connected so anything is possible.  Of course I know that so it wasn't very encouraging.

For years at doctor appointments  I mentioned this pain.  I can specifically asking my surgeon if "my hip/SI pain had anything to do with all the pain associated with my back?"  The pain and pulling from my lower back down my leg was so strong and my pelvis and SI joint was so tight it has twisted my spine.  I had such a strong gut feeling that was a huge source of pain but was never really taken seriously when I would approach a professional.

My MRI's and X-rays always showed injuries that would cause back and leg pain including bulging and herniated discs (L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1).  Scoliosis. 2 vertebrae that had slippage and had dropped cockeyed.  I guess there seemed no reason to continue looking for a source of pain when all signs pointed to my spine.

My surgeon wanted to schedule me for a spinal fusion in the Fall of 2011.  I was scared out of my mind and not feeling strong or stable enough to proceed at that time.  I had just experienced a miscarriage and my heart had been torn open because I so desired another baby.  The surgeon told me that when I was ready to just call and they would put me on the surgery schedule.  It took 2 years for me to finally come to peace with the surgery.  My family understood it would take a good year to recover and it would require a lot of changes.

I went in to see my surgeon in early Fall of 2013.  I prayed and told God that no matter what that appointment held, if the surgeon still thought spinal fusion was best, I would do it.  If he said to wait, I would do that.  Whatever he said, I would accept.

The Doctor, to both mine and Kendal's surprise said that there wasn't very much change since 2011 he thought I would be a much happier person to put the surgery off as long as possible.  He said I would basically be trading one pain for another.  Because fusion puts more load on other vertebras, discs and a lot more of a load on my SI joints.  That was the last thing I needed, more pain in that joint.

We walked out of there completely blown away at his advise.

We felt like we got our future back in a way.  I was so thrilled I was being encouraged NOT to have surgery.  After 2 years of struggling with the decision and that was his advise.  Mind you, there was still the same pain and issues, but the black cloud of surgery and recovery and the unknown was removed.

I am so thankful I didn't have that surgery!

If I had had it, I wouldn't been a candidate for this Vax-D treatment.

Okay, so back to the whole SI joint pain thing...
Dr. Lach (the chiropractor) and I talked about this whole SI pain thing and he said he would check my hips after I finished the Vax-D treatment.  He does a laser treatment after I'm finished with the pulling and then he checked my hips.  He said I was out of alignment.  I was not surprised in the least.  I can feel it.  Since the surgery in 2009 I have stood with my right leg pushed up by standing on my toe to help even my hips out.  It causes me to push the right side of my pelvis forward.
Not sure how to explain it, but I felt like maybe it looked something like a Parallelogram.

The doctor said he could realign my back if I would like him to.  He explained what he would do and I said I would like him to try it. 

(The last experience I had with a chiropractor was back when I was 20 and it was the kind where the dr. basically throws his body on you and pushes your hips and spine while you are all curled wonky.  I can't even explain how badly it hurt! I have never considered going back to one since then.)

I laid on my stomach and he raised the table in the middle across my hips and as he dropped it he pushed on my right hip area.  It was almost immediately that I could feel it loosen.  He did it 2 more times.  I laid there with my face in the head rest and asked him if you are supposed to feel immediate relief or if it is something that takes a few days or so.  He responded with, "either can happen."

I said, "because I think my is already feeling better."

I start to get from the table in a sort of plank/push-up thing and then beginning to push my hips back to raise the rest of my body.  I didn't make it all the way up before I dropped back down to my hands and hung my head and cried.  I looked at the doctor and said, "I can't believe what I am feeling, or not feeling.  I haven't had relief like this in years and years."

I finally made it to my feet and continued to cry.  Putting my hands over my face and then trying to pull it together but then finding myself doing it again.  Without warning I just fell into the doctor and told him "thank you" with a huge hug.  He gave me a sweet, fatherly, hug back and told me, "it's okay."  I respond with, "I know!"

I walked out, and could walk without SI pain!  I could feel my legs were the same length.  First time in 5 years. It felt so strange.  It felt so amazing! 

Of course, once I got into the car I texted Kendal the good news!  Our hope was restored that this whole thing will work after all!

As I drove myself home, my mind was flooded with the prayer I had said to the Lord.  I asked for healing of my body or healing of my heart in regards to pain.  Is this it?  Is he healing me?  

I had a great weekend experiencing less pain.  We are all very excited to think about our future.  

Please thank Jesus for this incredible miracle!

(I wish I could be jumping up and down how I imagined I would when I would one day be healed.  The thing is though, I am feeling lost.  Not sure who I am, not sure how I feel.  I am going through a whole range of feelings and emotions.  Not to mention, I am literally having to learn how to walk again and move my body. I am going to have to work through this and wrap my mind around it all.  I will blog on it I am sure.)