Sick & Cravings

I don't think I am fairing this very well. It has been one thing after another and I am getting weary, I have been weary.

I am 9 weeks pregnant with full blown morning sickness and no energy to be found anywhere. My other pregnancies were rough, but this one is hands down the worst...so far. I just need to complain/vent for a minute, or two.

I am thankful because a lot of the withdrawal symptoms have subsided. I do wake up every night completely soaked in sweat, but other than that, I am doing much better. I am just being prepared for menopause I suppose.

I am literally on the couch 12 hours a day, trying to figure out what I want to eat next because I eat something at least every 2 hours. Yesterday about 4:00 p.m., I got so sick and needed to eat something that I made myself a PB & J, scarfed it down, felt sick again instantly, ate another, then at 6 p.m. it was dinner time and I had a baked potato with mainly just butter, then was non-stop with Preggie pops and a strawberry Popsicle until I finally went to bed. It's bad people. I have gained a few to say the least.

There is a lot of guilt associated with laying around all day, from my health to my lack of cleaning and cooking to failing in relationships, especially with my kids. I have been able to give up a bit of the guilt with the cleaning, but the other stuff weighs pretty heavy.

If this was our first or even second baby, no problem, but with 4 little ones needing me, its pretty rough. Kendal has gone above and beyond with keeping this going here. He makes meals, does laundry, leads a church and tends to my needs and cravings...that last one could be a full time job.

It will be a joyous day when this sickness goes far far away.

Right now, I am wishing there was a Smokey's Pizza next door, because I am craving their Ham & Pineapple pizza :)