Give it Up, Lay it Down

I hadn't been to counseling for about 3 or 4 weeks and it actually was a fairly calm and reflective time. So yesterday, my first session back, I received some assignments. Difficult assignments. I have started one, and will hopefully start my next one today.

I am being asked to "Give Up My Bible for Lent."

Sounds a little extreme, but in all honesty, I don't pick it up much these days anyways. But the premise around it is, is that I feel shame when I ask Jesus for something and haven't even picked up his Word or spoken to Him. I think, "why would Jesus answer me, or even want to talk to me, when I haven't given Him the time of day?" Two words, 'Works Based.'

I didn't think I was works based in my thinking and faith because I always thought that applied to those that are out and 'doing.' Nope, I am at the core of a works based relationship. I have to "do" something (pray, read my Bible) for Jesus to be okay with me. And when I don't do those things, I feel shame.

The truth is, I am still okay with Jesus even if I don't do these things that have been somewhat put into a box of "what good Christians do".

Back to my assignment. Instead of picking up my Bible to feel like I "did" my Christian duty, I do things I love to do for my pleasure, this is an act of worship. Paul (our counselor) gave the example of Eric Liddell from Chariots of Fire, that as he ran he felt God's pleasure. This was his act of worship. Paul calls these acts of worship, "Practicing Radical Obedience."

Same as our Jesus, who never did anything before hearing from the Father. What do I hear from my Father? What do I do, where I feel God's pleasure?

I am excited to practice this Radical Obedience, no matter how funny it looks, or far fetched it seems. If I feel God's pleasure, that is what I will do, as an act of worship. Jesus loves my worship and if I feel His pleasure while hitting my hammer on metal, stretching pizza dough, gazing at the large oaks behind my house, saying no to "shoulds", relaxing, blogging, sitting with my angry child, enjoying the things without shame, then this is my spiritual act of worship. Instead of picking up my Bible and doing 'works'. I will get out of this 'box' and be forced into seeking His face in new and meaningful ways. I trust that I will be brought back, organically to His word, and seek His truth through these pages, but it will be because my heart desires this, and not out of obligation. I believe that Jesus will honor this assignment and find pleasure in it.

What will you do today where you feel God's pleasure?

Update: Mar. 17th

I just failed. Hard to call reading scripture a failure. I just looked up some verses for reference and knowledge. It was organic and not to make myself feel better or that God would be more pleased with me. It is refreshing.