...Every...Single...Day...of My Life.

For whatever reason, my pain level, has been through the roof. I broke down today. In the kitchen. Luckily, Kendal was there to catch me. He always does. I didn't fall, physically. But my soul felt like giving up. My hope was vanishing. It's that picture of sand falling through your fingers.

I go through days and even some weeks that I manage and make it. The visual picture is of a first or second time cross country skier. Their arms and legs are just pulling them through the thick snow that wants to hold on and weigh them down. Their body is fatigued. They need to stop often and catch their breath. That is my day. I am pulling through, fighting with everything I have to not get stuck, pulled down by the pain.

I did today. I cried, I had shallow breathing, I perspired. I was feeling anxious, to say the least.

It was that moment when the full weight of my reality cuts deep.

My reality is that I may face this pain every... single...day...of my life. With no end, with not much relief.

I am looking for relief but realizing it may not come. If that is the case, I need peace.

Please pray with us, that we may have peace way down in the depths of my and our souls.

Not sure how to face another day without it. I need His mercy on me, please pray that He shows mercy. My God is big and He is good. I want that, I want to see a Big, good God that can scoop me up and pour out His mercy on my body. Touch me, Heal me.

Be well.