This Way or That

{You will either go this way---> Or you will go that way <---}

I have only been in this role for 9 and a half years, so I am sure those that have gone before me have much more insight on this, but here is what I know.

I have observed, that those wives whose husbands are in ministry, deal with a healthy load of *stuff* that is difficult. Constant stuff, not sure what the ratio would be to the average parishioner and the pastor's wife, but heavy stuff, daily. This isn't to sound like you don't deal with anything, believe me, I know you do. I am thankful I don't have cancer, I haven't lost a living child nor have I lost a spouse. Praise the Lord. There are many in my church family that have dealt with far greater issues than I. What I am getting at is, and let me clarify, we (Wives of Pastors) deal with ongoing nagging and pushing of Satan. At times seems relentless. I have also observed that many in this role deal with ongoing health issues, some physical, some emotional or even mental. I don't know if those come from satan necessarily, but I do have a strong sense that he digs his evil hands into weakened holes in our hearts and stirs the pot. Making those issues larger, more difficult, more tangled. Does this make sense?

These weakened holes in our lives start to dictate or bring out what kind of character we have. Again, this is my observation, not proven nor scientific. Women who's husbands have been called into ministry are faced with difficulty after difficulty coming to points in their lives where they have to choose, do they choose truth? Or do they create their own reality? (By creating their own reality, their perception becomes skewed or in severe cases, completely off. Their world is different than the world you and I know.) Will they stand up and face what is true or will they ultimately crumble and become numb to what is right? Are they fighting back with grace and dignity or are they pointing the finger at those that want to help? Are they willing to hear truth or are they so far out of touch that life, to them, really is 'just great'.

Those that have created their own reality are, in my opinion, not effective in their husbands ministry. They either don't care or can't connect. Ouch, yep, I said it. Like I said, this is my opinion and my understanding from what I have observed.

Women of great character choose truth. Women who stand for truth have to go through excruciating tests, and they are excruciating because they are deeply connected, locked in, in it for the long haul. Their hearts are involved and they are willing for it to get hurt for the sake of truth. They face trials on a daily basis and, yes, it can get them down, but they aren't out.

If you have witnessed your pastor's wife go through trial after trial without much rest or times of peace and she still stands strong, still chooses to be by her husband's side in ministry, praise her. Pray for her, pray for her, pray for her. She is doing it right and doing it well. And it will be those women that will continue to be pounded by satan's attack because they are standing for truth. And we all know that if you are 'doing something right', that is when satan attacks the most. It is a daily fight, so pray daily. Pray for protection for her, her husband and her kids. If satan can get ahold of the Pastor's wife, he can maybe get his hooks into the pastor, and through that can bring down a church. So pray.

If you have witnessed your pastor's wife go through trials and 'give up', not respond to truth or be so out of touch that everything in life is wonderful, it may be time to ask some 'heart-searching' questions. Lots of prayer for her and her family. Seems that these women's hearts have become hard and there is quite a tough shell around it that is not easily broken. They have been hurt and have some serious scars. There could be things in their past that have never been dealt with, has nothing to do with ministry, but that is what satan is using to bring the Church down. Be on your knees for these women. Obviously make lots of room for grace to be shown, but also, speak truth.

I felt like I had to get that off my chest tonight as it has been on my mind a lot. And today, as a young man spoke to me about this, and his fears with his new bride, that she too will more than likely have to face this as they step into ministry together. She, like the rest of us, will have a choice, she will choose truth or she will choose to create her own reality. I know this gal and I have no doubt that she stands with and for truth. And her husband will also be able to help steer her when the troubles do come.

(I know this can and does apply to anyone that is a Believer, they can choose whether they stand up for truth or check out of life during difficult times.)

Again, just be in prayer for your Pastor's wife, they face hurdles from satan every single day in some way, shape or form. Maybe I have crossed a line, but it certainly has been on my heart and I wanted/needed to share.